Separation Anxiety Disorder (The Conclusion)

My mother is truly special.  I had the chance to hear the mass today for the first time in the church were for more than a decade, I just pass by everyday when I was a student of St. Paul QC. A lady came to me by the pew and gave me a bunch of lovely Malaysian mums. I assumed that she is one of altar servers.  She asked me to offer the flowers to the Resurrected Christ.  It was my first time to enter that church and yet I was immediately given a role.  

At times, I am skeptic about my religion but it give me creeps when I  hear the highest form of prayer. Then I thought, why doubt? Here, I prayed for the soul of my mother to the Risen Christ!

photo courtesy of Brian Formoso

My idea about death is quite different. It changed when my mother died sixteen years today. I thought I have separation anxiety disorder or simply,SAD.  Death of a beloved mother can do a lot to a person. It can improve your coping mechanisms without the Valium.  It makes you decisive and it gives you a sense of direction. Something that Sigmund Freud will decide to call the counseling session off.    

My mother's murderers were never captured. They were not even served hold departure order from the BID before they have flown in to Europe, but I feel that my mother forgives them and somehow I should. Many good things happened after her death. All her memories and countless recognitions were amazingly unforgettable--all the tears were for joy.  (We even have two Presidential courtesy calls to Malacañang) And that is how I realized that separation anxiety disorder is not a feeling of excessive anxiety at all.

posted on my FB 05.09.11 http://www.facebook.com/notes/grace-tatlonghari/separation-anxiety-disorder-the-conclusion/206031669436527